This topic is one I have long been peripherally aware of; until now I didn’t have the words to frame what I experience when I receive what I experience as blunt critique or rebuke.

Now I have some words.

When someone I respect and/or has authority over me, when such a person directly disagrees or criticizes a decision I’ve made, here’s what happens:

I feel a flush of regret, maybe some shame as well; I want to correct the perceived error as quickly as possible; I want to respond to the judge in immediate and decisive fashion to make the experience subside.

I think what’s happening in the moment is that I don’t want to let “the judge” down – whoever that person is – and simultaneously I am frustrated, hurt, wounded by the fact that the judge doesn’t see / acknowledge / respect my perspective …

Therein is the core of the transgression … and the reflection of the sensitivity I feel …

Maybe it’s a handicap, a weakness … it feels like that …

Then again… but also … somehow must be a window into some super power I should be able to harness …

I should be able to harness this innate thing that I am.

Comes to mind also, you might wonder why share these rambling thoughts, at best maybe personal insight … and I inevitably think, each time I share something like this … I can’t be the only one …

I can’t be the only one.