Faith & Forward

Why in this space, why in this place,

Every day, mostly, begins with a teaspoon of dread,

Bitter taste, I expect, frozen, paused, not wanting to begin, eyes closed tight,

Heart, mind, racing, images flash through in quick secession,

How to get through, how to go through these moments to begin the day?

Especially when I’m alone, it’s hard to see in those moments, the path, where my steps will lead,

It’s in these moments that I resolve to have faith, but in what? I call it God, pray to a god, to help me take those steps,

“…Give us this day our daily bread, and forgive us our trespasses as we forgive others…”

First steps of the day the hardest, taking that first sip the most difficult, even fleeting sleep fads quickly away,

All the same I resolve with just a teaspoon of faith, to go forward, forward,

Resolve to do at least a little, at least my best, only my best I can do,

Words coming, spilling through me,

Resolve to do and share and be me,

Just me, just for the next hour even, just for another day, once again I find,

A little faith, and I go forward, again.

Goat Trails

Back when I started at the company under which I’m currently employed, we were in five
buildings near each other in a sort of quasi cul-de-sac.

My buddy and I would sometimes walk together between buildings, as was necessary depending
on what had to be done; different departments were housed in separate buildings.

And my buddy would take different paths at different times, and depending on where he was going; at the time,
I remember thinking it was interesting, the diffrent routes. He called them “goat trails”, I think.

I find myself still using goat trails — different routes from A to B — to get around, even though the company is now in one larger building that fits everyone.

I especially like to use the stairs, even though most of my work activities happen one the first floor.

The stairs provide a bit more exercise, which I definitely need. Also adds steps, to help me toward my daily goal of 10,000 steps (and 10 floors).

Walking every hour (necessary to reach to goal) doesn’t take long, gives the mind a little micro-break, and is good for your health all around — physical and mental — nothing better, I’ve found.

Keep going, however you can, I think that’s the message. FORWARD.

“Oh, What Do You Write?”…Hmm

What exactly do I write here?

Good question, good question.

Sometimes it feels like a public writing journal, jottings and random and drafty, not too polished,

I know my intent overall is to share positive energy, on a good day actually inspire some, maybe a lot,

To do good, help others, think differently, more inclusively,

And it’s mine, as long as the blog stays alive, my very own to share,

I’ve been thinking of late, when I’m older, on in years,

I’ll front-load funding this site for a block of time after I’m gone, so I can linger on a bit like an old, dusty book.

I think that’s what I write.

And it makes me happy.

Yep, that’s it in a nutshell,

GOOD

Draw The Line

So many different references this simple phrase represents; it all boils down to a parameter. That which you don’t want to cross.

Looking back to Monday, it was a company holiday, but I’d been thinking about doing a little work anyway as a primer for the week.

I resisted. I drew the line at working on a paid holiday, so decreed by my employer.

But lots to do, lots to do…then I think, I could work 24/7 and it’d still be a big hill to climb…so much, but also only so much to give for work, to the churning machine that never sleeps…

So I doubled down on kids time.

And I did a few things around the house; still plenty to do there as well; constant swirl it feels like there too.

And more kids time.

And now the weekend, another chance to draw the line; kids grow up fast, the time with them is precious, truly precious…and so draw that line for them.

Pretty happy about that line.

Pretty darn good.

Lyrics Post: “We Don’t Talk About Bruno”

This one from the animated movie, another gem, “Encanto“, SO good. My kids walking around the house singing this song, the chorus anyway, catchy, fun…err, joy…truly, a little splash of joy.

[Pepa:]

We don’t talk about Bruno, no, no, no

We don’t talk about Bruno, but

It was my wedding day

[Félix:]

It was our wedding day

[Pepa:]

We were getting ready

And there wasn’t a cloud in the sky

[Félix:]

No clouds allowed in the sky

[Pepa:]

Bruno walks in with a mischievous grin

[Félix:]

Thunder

[Pepa:]

You’re telling the story or am I?

[Félix:]

I’m sorry, mi vida, go on

[Pepa:]

Bruno says, “It looks like rain”

[Félix:]

Why did he tell us?

[Pepa:]

In doing so, he floods my brain

[Félix:]

Abuela gets the umbrellas

[Pepa:]

Married in a hurricane

[Félix:]

What a joyous day but anyway

[Pepa & Félix:]

We don’t talk about Bruno, no, no, no

We don’t talk about Bruno

[Dolores:]

Hey, grew to live in fear of Bruno stuttering or stumbling

I can always hear him sort of muttering and mumbling

I associate him with the sound of falling sand, ch-ch-ch

It’s a heavy lift with a gift so humbling

Always left Abuela and the family fumbling

Grappling with prophecies they couldn’t understand

Do you understand?

[Camilo:]

A seven-foot frame, rats along his back

When he calls your name it all fades to black

Yeah, he sees your dreams and feasts on your screams (Hey)

[Pepa & Camilo:]

We don’t talk about Bruno, no, no, no

[Dolores:]

No, no

[Pepa & Camilo:]

We don’t talk about Bruno

[Dolores:]

We don’t talk about Bruno

[Townsperson 1:]

He told me my fish would die, the next day, dead

[Ensemble:]

No, no

[Townsperson 2:]

He told me I’d grow a gut and just like he said

[Ensemble:]

No, no

[Townsperson 3:]

He said that all my hair would disappear, now, look at my head

[Ensemble:]

No, no

Your fate is sealed when your prophecy is read

[Isabela:]

He told me that the life of my dreams

Would be promised, and someday be mine

He told me that my power would grow

Like the grapes that thrive on the vine

[Abuela Alma:]

Óye, Mariano’s on his way

[Dolores:]

He told me that the man of my dreams

Would be just out of reach

Betrothed to another

It’s like I hear him, now

[Isabela:]

Hey sis, I want not a sound out of you

[Dolores:]

It’s like I can hear him now, I can hear him now

[Mirabel:]

Um, Bruno

Yeah, about that Bruno

I really need to know about Bruno

Give me the truth and the whole truth, Bruno

[Camilo:]

Isabela, your boyfriend’s here

[Abuela Alma & Isabela:]

Time for dinner

[Camilo:]

A seven-foot frame, rats along his back

[Pepa:]

It was my wedding day

[Félix:]

It was our wedding day

[Isabela:]

He told me that the life of my dreams

[Dolores:]

Grew to live in fear of Bruno stuttering or stumbling

[Camilo:]

When he calls your name it all fades to black

[Pepa:]

We were getting ready and there wasn’t a cloud in the sky

[Félix:]

No clouds allowed in the sky

[Isbela:]

Would be promised and some day be mine

[Dolores:]

I can always hear him sort of muttering and mumbling

I associate him with the sound of falling sand, ch-ch-ch

[Camilo:]

Yeah, he sees your dreams

[Pepa:]

Bruno walks in with a mischievous grin

[Isabela:]

He told me that my power would grow

[Dolores:]

It’s a heavy lift with a gift so humbling

[Camilo:]

And feasts on your screams

[Félix:]

Thunder

[Pepa:]

You’re telling the story or am I?

[Félix:]

I’m sorry mi vida go on

[Isabel:]

Like the grape that thrive on the vine, on the vine

[Dolores:]

Always left Abuela and the family fumbling

Grappling with prophecies they couldn’t understand

Do you understand

[Abuela Alma:]

Óye, Mariano’s on his way

[Pepa:]

Bruno says, “It looks like rain”

[Félix:]

Why did he tell us?

[Camilo:]

Seven-foot frame, rats along his back

[Isabela:]

He told me that the life of my dreams would be promised and someday be mine

[Dolores:]

He told me that the man of my dreams would be just out of reach

[Pepa:]

In doing so, he floods my brain

[Félix:]

Abuela gets the umbrella

[Camilo:]

When he calls your name it all fades to black

[Dolores:]

Betrothed to another, another

[Camilo:]

Yeah, he sees your dreams and feasts on your screams

[Pepa:]

Married in a hurricane

[Félix:]

What a gorgeous day

[Dolores:]

And I’m fine, and I’m fine, and I’m fine, I’m fine

[Ensemble:]

He’s here

Don’t talk about Bruno, no

[Mirabel:]

Why did I talk about Bruno?

[Ensemble:]

Not a word about Bruno

[Mirabel:]

I never should have brought up Bruno

Lin-Manuel said about “We Don’t Talk About Bruno” in an interview for IndieWire.com,

“It’s a complicated family number and it introduces themes from characters that we don’t have time to go into with their own song.

I looked to ‘A Weekend in the Country’ from ‘A Little Night Music’, and ‘It’s Beginning to Snow’ from ‘Rent’.

We’ve got lots of different characters going in different directions.”

All We Do

Personal Life, Home Life, Work Life, Social Life, Service Life, all we do, how to do?!

How to balance, prioritize, attend,

Say Yes, say No, how and when, when when when?

Find the bits, find the time, find it within yourself each hour, each day,

For all you do, all the demands and pulls and sense of need,

How to find the time for all that needs us, all the draws, flawed thinking,

That we can do all of it all time, no no, find blocks of time, bits of time,

Like now, for all of it, for you, and it’s enough,

Enough said.

Is It Normal?

As the new year gets under way I recall a couple days back, standing in my garage, listening to the rain subside, looking out through the door to the darkness in the backyard.

There I was, shapeshifter, projecting forward, writing about the past. My own little take on shape-shifting, maybe more seer forward, looking back.

Is it normal, this behavior? It’s my normal, that’s for sure. A seer, seeking…what?

Is it normal, going to bed at eight o’clock at night? It is for me, planned to get up three hours before the sun…

…but too, my easiest, cheapest, most available coping mechanism, slumber, dear slumber…sleep, deep I pray, deep.

I consider a piece I heard about teachers battling in the second year of Covid; their words ring true to me, struggle, without end it seems, but also resolve.

This truth is at the core, their resolve to see it through, this difficult time, thru.

Is it normal to buckle down? For how long? Not clear, no no, not clear.

This through-line for me: lean-in, keep going, keep learning, be open, take care of yourself, find the little bits of joy to sustain along the way…

In work, parenting, marriage, divorce, all relationships, regular everyday, big things, little things, finding inspiration, waiting through the times of feeling stalled out,

Is it normal to feel all this? I think so.

I think it’s called life.

GOOD.

Fresh and Forward into 2022

Year Two, Covid, in the books. Big family changes, personal shifts, completed, new patterns established.

Plenty of challenge and opportunity for growth at work; intent and planning, all systems go to take it to the next level; hopeful the stars further align, more pieces fall into place.

And personally, well, it’s all personal with me. That’s how I live. That’s how I’ve had my greatest wins, and hardest falls.

With my kids, striving to stay connected to them, supportive of them, sure of that wanting and striving and being committed to being the best parent I can be for them.

I take that very personal; how to be there for them; how to lift them up, support them, help them grow and learn and shine.

And beyond that? Seeking to reset to 3.0, relationship-wise. I’m a one-gal guy, just not sure what that looks like at my age, in my particular situ. But I’m ready for 3.0 all the same.

Arms open wide, ready to keep loving the world and lifting others up and writing it all down and making it good, GOOD.

Good. Happy New Year 2022!

The Grandeur of Littleness

Snippets for a while from Francis’ Christmas Eve Homily, 2021,

This to begin,

“Today, all is turned upside down: God comes into the world in littleness. His grandeur appears in littleness.”

So simple, so profound. Reset your mind, your soul to this truth.

Seek, Embrace, Love the littleness you encounter, you live,

God is in the littleness.