Not Much

[Note: Thursdays have typically been a day to post song lyrics on this blog. This time around, I was inspired with the following thoughts, so went this route instead. Enjoy.]

Not much more than a bit to keep me holding on,

Not much more time I need to figure it out, not much more to erase the fear, the doubt.

A bit of success, positive result, day by day, step by step. Keep going forward, don’t let up.

Believe in the progress, the effort, itself. Not much needed, just a bit. Believe in the effort, the effort itself.

A Couple of Tunes

A couple of tunes helped make the difference tonight.

The first was on repeat as I started the after-dinner dishes.

We got this party started.


Meal with the kids, a typical dad dinner: New York beef hot dogs, and vegetable options: tonight it was green beans, carrots, or corn.

Dessert was simple, treats mom brought home from the store recently. And then there was a mix of self-guided activity to round out the evening. Everyone was tired this morning, so I was trying to angle for early to bed.

It was tricky.

Yes, it’s tricky.

Somehow we had lights out before 9 o’clock in the evening.

Good? GOOD.

Holy Hour

It happens most often during the 3am hour. Lying in the darkness, mostly asleep, shifting my head, feeling for a more comfortable spot on the pillow.

If there’s a lot going on — and in 2020 it seems that way most every day — my brain might start to churn.

To-Do’s, Things Done, and often, Prayers: all these flow through my head at this Holy Hour. I call it the Goly Hour because I think of it as prime time to reach out beyond myself. A minute of hope and angst, I pray, insisting that all the doubts and uncertainty and worry subside, that these evils bend to the higher power.

It’s not easy.

It’s a mixed bag of results, how much calm this Holy Hour brings; sometimes not much; sometimes I doze off again; sometimes I battle and improve my position, my position in my mind.

Good, bad or draw, it’s the Holy Hour: me, my thoughts and God.

The Universe and The Time: Carpe Diem, Vita Brevis: Seize the Day, Life is Short

From The Universe and The Time blog: “Carpe Diem, Vita Brevis” in other words, “Seize the Day, Life is Short”~

I stumbled across this blog a while back. Another iteration of a reminder we all need frequently – make the most each day; relish in the ordinary; we know not the hour or the day it will all be over, so make hay while you can.


And for the blog itself,
— Read on:

1st Grade Sit-in

Our younger daughter has ups and downs with distance learning so far. Our other children, too. Maybe most kids do.

Not made easier by the two-way bilingual dynamic for the program she’s in.

Recently I sat with our six year old as she began her school day.

“Mariana Mariana…” the kids repeat.

I sit quietly on the side with my earbuds plugged into my daughter’s pink headset.

She’s a bit of a sleepy head right now. Deep into the week, a little earlier to bed might help. There’s a lot of yawning, a lot of fidgeting. And it’s only been 15 minutes.

Pandemic Life doesn’t make the kids’ days any easier. Bad air from surrounding wildfires don’t help.

I wonder how much these circumstances effect her experience. I bet a lot. A WHOLE lot. But that’s not the last word, either.

The situation isn’t ideal, but that’s life. Supporting through it, that’s God’s Grace in action.

Please work through me, Lord.

Lyrics Post: “Ants Marching”

This song wasn’t the first I heard by Dave Matthews, but it probably was the one that hooked me to his music.

“He wakes up in the morning

Does his teeth bite to eat and he’s rolling

Never changes a thing

The week ends the week begins

She thinks, we look at each other

Wondering what the other is thinking

But we never say a thing

These crimes between us grow deeper

Take these chances

Place them in a box until a quieter time

Lights down, you up and die

Goes to visit his mommy

She feeds him well his concerns

He forgets them

And remembers being small

Playing under the table and dreaming

Take these chances

Place them in a box until a quieter time

Lights down, you up and die

Driving in on this highway

All these cars end up on the sidewalk

People in every direction

No words exchanged

No time to exchange

And all the little ants are marching

Red and black antennas waving

They all do it the same

They all do it the same way

Candyman tempting the thoughts of a

Sweet tooth tortured by the weight loss

Program cutting the corners

Loose end, loose end, cut, cut

On the fence, could not to offend

Cut, cut, cut, cut

Take these chances

Place them in a box until a quieter time

Lights down, you up and die

Lights down, you up and die”


Parents have been doing it forever; more broadly speaking, caregivers of kids have been doing it forever.

It’s how we support them. It’s also how we support each other. Chip in; come through when needed; be a go-to person, reliable, some one others can count on. Someone your kids can count on.

What happens next? Kids feel that sense of continuity and security. They feel the stability, they feel safe. And when this is so, children thrive.

It’s all in the hand-off.

All Houses Shake

Let’s start this way, from the Book of Luke, Chapter 6.

“I will show you what someone is like who comes to me,
listens to my words, and acts on them.
That one is like a man building a house,
who dug deeply and laid the foundation on rock;
when the flood came, the river burst against that house
but could not shake it because it had been well built.
But the one who listens and does not act
is like a person who built a house on the ground
without a foundation.
When the river burst against it,
it collapsed at once and was completely destroyed.”

Here’s what I know. I’ve worked to keep my house on rock all my life. Overall. But there have definitely been times, plenty of times, when I’ve struggled; in my worst moments, ideals have gone out the door due to matters that proved to much for me in the moment.

This verse from the Book of Luke is one of my favorites. It calls us to strive for what we know is right, to heed the wise words we hear, to build our house on rock, to fortify against the inevitable dangers, struggles, floods of difficulty that come along in life.

We’re called to trust in the foundation we’ve laid, and do what we know is right and correct in each moment in those most difficult times. In this way, the high river waters of life’s most challenging moments will not sweep you away; your house will stand firm.

All houses shake. But in the flood, yours can, yours will, stand firm. Let it be so.


Weekend here, walks in the door, just four little days, felt it felt it, felt like more.

Smoke in the skies, COVID all around, bump through the days, count them down.

Weekend’s here, marked by a shake-up, hoops on the screen, play-doh milkshake, after supper snack offered in the wake,

Wake of a week we’ll repeat after two,

Days off, shake it off, go off, do it again. Do it all again,

Play-doh milkshake, for the win!

Fire In The Sky

It’s been quite a crazy year, this 2020.

We’ve got the Global COVID Pandemic, over 7,000 wild fires in the Western US so far, and sequester life and distance learning and so much wrapped up in between.

A weird year filled with uncertainty and many unsettling things.

Here in the San Francisco Bay Area where fires are burning on three sides it seems, the sky was gray, then later dark orange-red.

The kids were saying it was something like a movie maybe, living on Mars.


Looking out into the strange orange hue, I can’t help but think, “Carry On.” “Keep going. Do what you can. Stay connected. Don’t give up.”

Even as there is fire in the sky waiting to rain down, PERSEVERE.

Do what you have to do to adjust and protect yourself and your people. And don’t let up. PERSEVERE.

Through the pandemic and challenges at work and home, enduring fire from the sky, the orange red time of many unknowns, PERSEVERE.