“Love Never Fails”

This Good Friday, I feel pretty far from the usual church ideas and rituals around celebrating this day.

For us Christians, today is one of the most important days of the year, when we remember the execution of Jesus of Nazareth.

The darkest day gives way to the brightest, a couple days following.

It feels distant to me this year, the rituals of the day. All the same, I’ll remember his suffering and death; I’ll remember his courage, and resolve.

And I’ll remember his love.

Nuptials

My brother-in-law is getting married today, a joyous celebration in store.

Delighted that he and his lady have decided to take the next step in their relationship.

They’re a solid couple already. Inspired that they want to take the next step in commitment, in marriage.

Does it matter?

I think it does. I think it can. It declares to the world your intent one to the other, it states your commitment to that singular person, to that relationship,

It also declares the value you put in the other person, and the permanece you seek with them.

Nuptial celebration, joy, bliss, don’t miss the opportunity, take the chance, jump in whole heartedly,

WHOLE HEARTED.

A thousand years of happiness to Jon and Sokcon, GOD BLESS !!!

Awash

I can’t really explain it very well. I feel like there’s a LOT going on…

That in some (many?) cases I have to let things fall away…

And sometimes in quite messy form, unfortunately,

And yet I think I’m keeping the main priorities squared away, plates in the air,

And then I wake up, mind spooling up quickly like a turbine,

And I’m awash with anxiety,

In the dark,

At 2 am.

Just saying, just sharing,

Because that’s my way.

And ever more I will go forward,

With the downs and the ups,

The Good and the not so good,

Awash unexpectedly,

But forward all the same.

Come, join me~~~

Mindset? Mindfulness

Nearly two years now, approaching two,

World upside down, more than one way,

Crisis demanding response,

Many ways, we might say,

Stark circumstances, consequences, what to do, how to play,

New early morning routines, lots of thoughts in the dark,

How to go forward, next steps, each day?

Pit of stomach holds me back most days, many anyway,

What to do, how to handle,

A different approach, a master’s approach,

Get me there,

We’ll see…

“Breathing in, I calm my body,

Breathing out, I smile,

Dwelling in the present moment,

I know this is a wonderful moment.”

Is It Normal?

As the new year gets under way I recall a couple days back, standing in my garage, listening to the rain subside, looking out through the door to the darkness in the backyard.

There I was, shapeshifter, projecting forward, writing about the past. My own little take on shape-shifting, maybe more seer forward, looking back.

Is it normal, this behavior? It’s my normal, that’s for sure. A seer, seeking…what?

Is it normal, going to bed at eight o’clock at night? It is for me, planned to get up three hours before the sun…

…but too, my easiest, cheapest, most available coping mechanism, slumber, dear slumber…sleep, deep I pray, deep.

I consider a piece I heard about teachers battling in the second year of Covid; their words ring true to me, struggle, without end it seems, but also resolve.

This truth is at the core, their resolve to see it through, this difficult time, thru.

Is it normal to buckle down? For how long? Not clear, no no, not clear.

This through-line for me: lean-in, keep going, keep learning, be open, take care of yourself, find the little bits of joy to sustain along the way…

In work, parenting, marriage, divorce, all relationships, regular everyday, big things, little things, finding inspiration, waiting through the times of feeling stalled out,

Is it normal to feel all this? I think so.

I think it’s called life.

GOOD.

Due Diligence

This term, “due diligence”, can mean different things I think, depending on context.

At the core it means doing the needful, being responsible, taking ownership.

There are of course many context for this idea: maybe one of the most important is being responsible for one’s personal health.

Like going to the dentist two or three times a year. Like annual check-ups. Like other tests to check key aspects of your physical health. Attending to your mental health as well.

It’s on each of us to take care of ourselves a first; we can’t help others unless we are also in good shape.

I’m headed in for a check-up procedure myself today; hoping for a good result.

Fingers crossed.

We’ll see.

Bottom line though, good, bad, or otherwise,

Due diligence. Take care of you.

40

I shared this one before. Not mine, not even U2’s originally…

Originally from a now nameless writer several thousand years ago. What language was it even written in?

No matter. The words ate timeless in their comfort and hope. From Psalm 40.

“I wait for the Lord, he inclines and hears my cry; he lift me up out of the pit, out of the myre and clay…

And I will sing a new song of praise to the Lord…”

Something like that. Each minute. Each hour. Each day. Something like that.

Blog Like A Tweet: Sunday Eve Lull

Mishmash morning, kids’ whim to add pancakes to breakfast? Done.

Number Three finished her laundry put-away? Magic.

These highlights outweighed a couple bumps, and away we went into the afternoon.

Home run visit to a county park wed not tried previous; quick return errand and grocery stop on the way home, now can see clearly to bedtime in about three hours, and yet…

Somehow it feels flat. What? The day.

I’m digging deep for gratitude and content…no always easy…

Flat, and some anxiety dripping in…but why…

But why…

Looming end to the divorce process, busy last several of weeks at work to year-end, nebulous self-doubt…

The same old song and dance, it seems. Just the shit I got going on. Well you know what?

I’m dancing all the same.