Alt Vacay Attitude

Week off with the kids, vacation time, stripped down, shifting mindset and schedule to them, focused on them, us.

This particular post a good example. Three in the morning, awake, listening to the sounds of the night, listening to the kids sleep.

What’s the big deal? Not so big maybe; maybe just different. In a tent in the back yard; all of us together. Had visions of a bigger adventure; scaled back to stay closer to home, for the old dogs’ sake. Still lots of fun in store. Local adventures; some news places; some old places; all good places. Focused on them, focused on us.

Spent a little chunk of change for a bigger tent and new sleeping bags, upgrades for the crew this season. All these an investment in many of these strings of adventures to come in the years ahead. Focused on them, focused on us.

A year ago marriage was failed, the beginning of the end; now, the end nearly concluded, this is what’s left; unexpected, family camaraderie, us four, me and the kids, quite unexpected, this is what’s left. Pretty special all the same; three in the morning, lying in the tent, dim light from the night creeping in, soft sounds of three little kids in slumber, not one lover, but my three little kids from a try at love, now left with this particular love, love them so, I do.

And so this alternate vacation, alt vacay, just what the doctor ordered, for us, for them. Us together, on the roads, highways and by-ways, exploring, and tent time, alt arrangements, together, most important, together.

It’s that alt vacay attitude, shining through.

Settled in Unsettled

Weird feeling, let me attempt to explain a little.

My family structure, a new chapter, still searching for settled. Family under two households, a second divorce, forward still, the kids the common denominator that we remain committed to, whatever “family” looks like anew? We’ll see.

My work life, jobs shifted, a position I accepted, then became something different. now opportunities, lots to learn, LOTS to learn, keep learning, doing, being, open, to contribute, the common goal, contribute, to move the business forward.

“All good,” I tell myself, make myself, will make, am making the best of it, both.

Settled in the unsettled.

Think of the possibilities…

Everyday…

Make it GOOD.

Snippets of GOOD

From an old friend, this quote, recently shared. I think it stands pretty well on its own. Enjoy. I did. Do.

“As long as we observe love for others and respect for their rights and dignity in our daily lives, then whether we are learned or unlearned, whether we believe in the Buddha or God, follow some religion or none at all, as long as we have compassion for others and conduct ourselves with restraint out of a sense of responsibility, there is no doubt we will be happy.”~ His Holiness The Dalai Lama

And the thoughts I’d woken up with that day, “What’s on my mind? Tolerance and love, patience and mercy, and just a spark of inspiration — wishing this for each of you, and the world, for the world, Happy Tuesday, peeps~”

Inside, Outside

Where we spend our time, inside, outside. Literally, and figuratively. In the world, in our heads.

Who are we outside? Inside? The same, or different…?

These questions churn through my noggin most days, challenge me, inspire me, forward, the stop!

Then forward again. Striving to understand, live the truth, each day, nudge, speed, forward.

Inside, and outside,

Ever forward. Ever forward.

Listen, Lean-In, Love

Listen to the voices you trust, to those that inspire you, each day. Learn the lessons being offered if they resonate with you. Learn them well.

Lean-in to hard things when it makes sense. We can do hard things . You can do hard things. We humans, we are built for struggle, to overcome difficulties, to persevere. That’s you, too!

Love yourself; at the same time, as you hold yourself accountable, remember to also love yourself.

And love those around you who love you; and love those who need love; let the love you are blessed with power you forward. Accept it when it is offered; give it as often as you can.

Let it be so: Listen, Lean-In, Love.

Plod, Pause, Progress

These three “P’s”…something to be said for them…

We plod through day-to-day, not always completely inspired, not always completely focused, but overall, if we’re going forward, I’d call that, I DO call that, GOOD;

Sometimes the best thing to do is pause, right where we are, and take stock; take an extra deep breath or ten; take a moment or ten for yourself to look around, reset, remind yourself that you’re enough, just as you are; you’re GOOD;

And maybe through those two actions, maybe that’s the foundation of progress. Of course there’s also the “big moves”, the revelations, the quantum leaps…but I think often progress is the simpler version; one foot in front of the other; doing the work; being present in the here and now, and doing the…next…right…thing.

I’d call that progress.

Other Side

On the other side of the headache, is the comfort and calm and peace to think clearly;

On the other side of releasing the angst and the pain and the toil is the certainty that you can take the next step on that ten thousand mile journey of life;

On the other side of the anxiety that spins you around and flips you upside down is the sense of serenity and peace that you are living exactly the life you’re meant to live in this moment,

And the clarity to change the things that need changing to align your head, your heart, your soul,

Starting now, on the other side.

Anxiety: Fight it with Music, with Song, “The Next Right Thing”

Sometimes simply listening to a song over and over can help stave off anxiety, turn your frown upside down, make all the difference.

Give it go, this is a good one for those moments. Just do…

“The Next Right Thing”

(from “Frozen 2” soundtrack)

I’ve seen dark before

But not like this

This is cold

This is empty

This is numb

The life I knew is over

The lights are out

Hello, darkness

I’m ready to succumb

I follow you around

I always have

But you’ve gone to a place I cannot find

This grief has a gravity

It pulls me down

But a tiny voice whispers in my mind

You are lost, hope is gone

But you must go on

And do the next right thing

Can there be a day beyond this night?

I don’t know anymore what is true

I can’t find my direction, I’m all alone

The only star that guided me was you

How to rise from the floor

When it’s not you I’m rising for?

Just do the next right thing

Take a step, step again

It is all that I can to do

The next right thing

I won’t look too far ahead

It’s too much for me to take

But break it down to this next breath

This next step

This next choice is one that I can make

So I’ll walk through this night

Stumbling blindly toward the light

And do the next right thing

And with the dawn, what comes then?

When it’s clear that everything will never be the same again

Then I’ll make the choice

To hear that voice

And do the next right thing

‘Frozen 2’ Songwriters Kristen Anderson-Lopez & Robert Lopez

Anxiety: A Continuum

I don’t know what the experts say for sure, but I believe anxiety, like a lot of feelings exist on a continuum.

Maybe all feelings are like this? Probably so.

In this way then, part of coping with anxiety is realizing this common trait exists, and then you can identify some lessons that might be useful.

Anger, Happiness, Frustration, Excitement, Fear, Calm, Anxiety. These are some of the feelings that come to mind; powerful indeed, feelings that can drive us forward, slow us down to “smell the roses”, or stop us cold, frozen in our tracks.

It comes to mind for me that the different feelings, the different emotions have varying affect on us; perhaps it’s more the negative feelings — or those generally thought of as negative — are the ones that stall us out, freeze us…and then the thought follows…

Why do we let the “negative” feelings affect us differently…? Why not just recognize it for what it is, process it, and then move on?

Why indeed…easier said than done. But it’s worth a try, right? It’s worth a try to NOT let the anxiety and the fear and the self-doubt get the better of you. I am filled with those negative feelings at times, seemingly to the very brim, and it’s up to ME to change how I deal with it.

These negative feelings, they are on the continuum with all the other emotions. And if you’re like me, for some reason, we give them more power over us…but we don’t have to.

So let’s try that simple strategy, and master lesson of how to cope with the anxiety and the fear and the doubt: Recognize, Acknowledge, and Go Forward.

GO. FORWARD.

Anxiety: A Personal Intro

I’ve been dealing with it all my life; for a long time I called it “worry” – more recently I’ve come to define it as anxiety. It’s pretty well been my constant companion since I was seven years old.

So, why share some thoughts here now? Why not simply journal, or talk to a therapist? Those are both good paths for sure.

For me, sharing publicly accomplishes one, critical, added goal: it lets others dealing with anxiety know they are not alone. If this sharing of my path and perspective helps even one person only, as Hamilton says, “…it will have been worth it.”

So this week, a few thoughts and insights about anxiety. They’ll be brief, snippets; hopefully they’ll be helpful too.

Let’s GO.