Dropped to the Ground

At the store, recent afternoon, saw a guy drop is disposable orange mask the ground as he walked to his car. He was with his daughter.

Humf. At least he had a mask, I suppose.

We’d be a lot better off if folks didn’t take that approach. In public health, in personal responsibility, in parenting…maybe in a lot more.

I see people at work drop things. I see our political leaders drop things, I see our society drop things. And when it’s on purpose, and really you shouldn’t drop something, well, well that’s bullshit. If you drop it and you shouldn’t, PICK IT UP.

Don’t drop things to the ground. Stand up. And pick up. And teach your kids to do the same. Wear a mask. Pick up your trash. Put down the seat. You get the idea.

If you drop it to the ground, pick it up. We’ll all be better off.

How Do You Feel?

Dawning reality as the year winds down, maybe I’m not as in touch with myself as I think I am.

Harsh awakening. Sorta. Not really harsh maybe, but a personal wake-up call for sure.

A therapist I saw earlier this year, he observed I talk about my feelings, but maybe I don’t feel them so much. Or express them fully. Hmm.

Talking to a few old friends just the other day, they observed some of that about me too. Or at least that I spin things to the positive, finding the silver lining. “Well, yeah…” I think, “that’s maybe the hallmark piece of me.”

Hearing my friends share their observations, it spurs me to consider my hallmark, my basic life strategy anew.

Quite a revelation, I must say. Also, it’s an invitation. It’s an invitation to consider how I feel, how I go about feeling, and if I’m actually living in deep denial.

But then I think, I’m not sure what I’m denying. I feel deeply a lot of the time; I feel so much I think, it freezes me, most days; I start most days that way.

I feel deeply, the uncertainty, the doubt, awash in worry. I have to push through those feelings to the other side, to function, to cope.

I believe happiness, like love, is a choice. And my feelings are the medium, continuum through which I live out each day, they are the foundation that I respond to each hour, each day.

All that said, maybe this sounds like some sort of defense of me I put up; not meant to defend, but explain, and reflect on how I am and why, out loud.

Yep. quite an invitation before me, quite a revelation: to peel back more, more to the core, core of me, inside, feeling, what am I feeling?

Not sure, exactly. But it’s something like relief I’ve come this far; and who I am, and how I am, and how much better I can still become.

Lull

The excitement has ebbed. The presents have been opened. Good times and love and too much yummy food shared.

Lull.

Dishes done mostly, house mostly quiet, now an old Barenaked Ladies concert plays on the screen.

Lull.

The kids went home with their mom a while ago; I think they had a good Christmas. I think we all did, mostly.

Lull.

No lie though; if we were all still together, I’d welcome the lull a little more. We’d all wake up together tomorrow; as it is, I’ll seem them tomorrow night.

Hmm, this not so welcome lull. I’ll make the most of it; wind down; chill down; not be too down; I’ll see them soon.

Lull.

Flex

When I was a kid, adolescent really, I lifted weights. I was an athlete, among other things, and understood I needed to be stronger to better compete. And so I that adolescent athlete world, we’d talk about “flexing” your muscles.

But that’s not what this post is about. It’s about being flexible; and I don’t just mean physically. In particular, I mean situationally.

It’s SO important in life to be able to flex, adjust, accommodate, compromise.

A therapist I worked with might say this approach isn’t necessarily, the best one; but I disagree. We humans need to know how to flex to find happiness, CHOOSE happiness, and create progress.

In politics, in parenting, in marriage, in conflict, at work, in life, bending, being able to flex is key.

FLEX. You’ll be glad you did.

Grinder

A Grinder is person that doesn’t give up. A Grinder just keeps at it, no matter the failures, the struggles, the obstacles that present themselves. It’s hard to be a Grinder.

On my best days I think of myself in this way. Actually, that’s not true.

On some of my worst days I think I’m a Grinder. I’ve had some successes for sure, and I live a blessed life, all in all. I have it far better than most. But I’ve also struggled mightily. I’ve had some epic fails. They’ve nearly, silently, gently crushed me.

Lately I’ve been feeling that a lot. A LOT.

But then at some point I get through the dark thoughts, and I shift. And I think, “Ah well, press on, try again, don’t quit, keep going, NEVER GIVE UP.”

It’s like being 0 for 15 from the free-throw line. It’s like being on a ten-game hitting slump. It’s like dropping every pass thrown to you. It’s like coming in dead last. It’s like struggling with algebra, or statics, or the bar exam. It’s like a million different things people struggle with.

The truth is, we all struggle. The other truth is, we all need to be Grinder sometimes. What’s more? If you’re a parent, teach your kids to be the same. It’s a trait that will serve them well throughout their lives.

BE A GRINDER. NEVER GIVE UP.

Chase

All day long, day after day, sometimes that’s how it feels: chase.

Long lists made longer by hundreds of email, how can that be? Feels like more to do every moment: chase.

Dishes and laundry and honey-do: chase.

Dream of a race, gun goes off, I can’t run fast enough, slow off the line, sloth-like: chase.

When it’s like that, here’s the answer:

One thing at a time. KEEP GOING.

Dark and Light

Like each day, this year, dark and light. Just when the darkness seems endless, a glimmer in the distance, hope.

Faith helps. Sometimes. Other times not so; much too much it seems all the struggle and challenge and unexpected twists.

Run through, stay true, to the path, the course, the way.

The Way, and they say, and in the dark, I find my way, to the light, to be the light, to do what’s right.

From Dark, to Light.