Fatal Flaw?

A lifetime of ups and downs; when I reflect back that’s what I see.

I don’t suspect it’s anything special really; my experience like many other folks; in fact, I often reflect and return to the perspective that I’m particularly lucky, particularly blessed.

And yet I’ve had my failures, aplenty. I’ve made mistakes; I’ve made knowingly poor decisions; I’ve hurt people, people close to me.

What is this fatal flaw that makes me so, that allows this evil in? I suspect we all have these moments, we all have these flaws; it’s when the circumstances meet the flaws, that’s when it can prove fatal.

But fatal, really? If you’re still breathing, it’s not fatal yet. Try again.


Lyrics Post: “Release”

29 years ago. This song goes back. Hard to believe. Speaks to me more now than it did then. From Pearl Jam, “Ten.” What an epic album that was; is. GOOD.



I see the world
Feel the chill
Which way to go
I see the words
On a rocking horse of time
I see the birds in the rain

Oh dear dad
Can you see me now
I am myself
Like you somehow
I’ll ride the wave
Where it takes me
I’ll hold the pain
Release me

Oh dear dad
Can you see me now
I am myself
Like you somehow
I’ll wait up in the dark
For you to speak to me
I’ll open up
Release me
Release me
Release me
Release me

Writer(s): Eddie Vedder.

Go With The Flow

Let it ride, let it go, go with the flow. That right there is a solid gold tenant of successful parenting, and may successful living overall.

Of course there are times when you need to lean in and insist on an agenda, actions, compliance. That’s definitely true.

That said, I suspect learning when to go with the moment, with the established momentum, learning that lesson, and then applying it, APPLYING IT, that’s where the trick is, that’s where the wisdom hides.

Knowing that you need to do it. And then knowing when to do it. And then?


The Only Thing To Do…

The only thing to do is keep going.

It’s a new week, keep going. It’s a new day, keep going.

Your relationships are a little funky; maybe a lot funky. Keep going.

You’ve made the same errors more times than you’d like, maybe more thank you can count, keep going.

It’s hard, keep going.

You’re frustrated, keep going.

It doesn’t seem to be getting easier. It will. Keep going.


Photo from Instagram, Alex Howes, US Road Cycling Champion 2019

Ordinary Time

If you check out this blog periodically, you might notice Sundays of late, I’ve had some reference / little lesson or take I’ve picked up from a weekend Bible reading.

This time around, I’m just thinking about Ordinary Time; I think the Church uses this term to reference the time between Easter and Christmas seasons.

What I’m thinking about is the term “ordinary”; this time with COVID-19, this time is anything but ordinary. All things related are similar. Life doesn’t seem ordinary.

At least part of the response is to do little things that make this time a little extra-ordinary. Like camping in the backyard.

We’re at it again this weekend. And s’mores over a charcoal grill. A little extra-ordinary in an all very ordinary, somewhat messy, run-of-the-mill suburban backyard.

And what do we find? A little variety. A little excitement for the kids, a change of pace. A little break for Mom, who’s sleeping in the house. A new appreciation for the sounds of the neighborhood at night, and early morning too.

All from a backyard campsite for the weekend. Anything but ordinary.

Spool Up

I love this term. Maybe I like it because it’s sometimes used to reference an aircraft engine warming after being turned on. At least, that’s what’s in my head… : – )

I looked it up, so for all my engineer / machine-thinking friends, I found this, related to “turbo power”:

Turbo spool time is the time it takes for the turbocharger to charge until the engine reaches full turbo pressure. The turbo spool time can often be confused and mixed up with the turbolag, but actually they are two completely different terms.”

So in the context of this week? The term “spool up” comes to mind as to how the human brain adjusts when one goes back to work. After all, when you’re in vacation mode and being off for a bit, you thus haven’t had to think about professional topics, matters, issues, problem-solving, etc.

For a lot of us, work is typified by email communication. Emails carry information, tasks, request for assistance, the whole gamut of work activities in a tidy list. Sometimes, it’s a very long list. I’m not sure how my inbox measures up to my peers at my work, let alone my friends who do similar White-collar work.

I actually think 369 emails, after being off for more than 10 days, isn’t all that many. That’s my sense from hearing people talk about how many emails they have to deal with every day.

Nonetheless, 369 of anything is quite a few.

And that’s what I faced when I turn on my work machine this morning before the sun came up, getting back to work after being on PTO for a bit.

Some (many?) folks might go through email the night before, to get a head start. People even do that on the weekend, in effort to “stay on top of things”, etc.

At least this time, I chose not to get a head start. My mind was clear and ready when I woke up, and after the usual morning routine, I opened the Inbox. And?


I’ll Take It

As it comes, I’ll take it.

Easy conversation, I’ll take it.

Blue sky, cool breeze, I’ll take it.

Light sheen of sweat blankets me, I’ll take.

Smoke wafting from the barbecue, I’ll take it.

A billion emails expected on Monday morning, I’ll take it.

Kids quietly watching TV, I’ll take it.

Detente, I’ll take it.

A way forward, a glimmer of light up ahead, I’ll take it.

Each hour, each day, easy does it, I’ll take it.

Why Is It So Hard?

These things we are called to in life, these difficulties thrust before us, why does it have to be so hard?

It’s just life. It is what it is. One of those four great truths Buddha identified: “Life is difficult.”

In Matthew 10:16, Jesus makes a similar observation as he spells out how his friends should act: as a sheep among wolves, shrewd yet simple. And all will speak against you, and worry not about what to say, the Spirit will guide you.

But that doesn’t make it easier, I don’t think; it makes it more manageable, gives us a path forward, but not easier.

I’ve failed plenty of times to take this proper attitude, I’ve given in to the darkness, been overwhelmed, crushed.

And then? Then I try again. That’s it. Just try again.

It’s hard. That’s just how it is. Life is hard. And that’s ok. And you’re ok. Onward.

Say Their Names, Honor Their Fight For Equal Rights

In this great American experiment, we must rely on the fundamental ideals the founders laid out in the beginning.  After that initial revolution that birthed the United States of America, some eighty years later, we fought a civil war to solidify the course of our country.   

We are at a similar, if not as outwardly violent, cross-roads once again.  All  colors.  All religions, all creeds.  LGBTQ or straight, ALL who strive and desire to live in peace with one another.  

EQUAL RIGHTS FOR ALL.  *ALL* people deserve, ney, HAVE these inalienable rights.  

Let us not rest until this ideal is in fact, reality.  Let us make it a reality.  Let us say their names over and over until all peoples have justice and equal treatment across these fair and wide lands.

Take a listen to this profile of one woman’s life, striving to find her way, her own way, in this America. 

Storme DeLarverie ~