At long last I feel like I’m getting closer to these two, Anxy & Angst. It’s taken decades.

I used to ignore them; or try to, anyway. I didn’t want them to exist so I tried to pretend they didn’t exist.

After a long, long while I realized this was a futile endeavor. And so I just tried to ignore them.

It’s hard. Sometimes just sorta hard; other times really hard. Really REALLY hard.

I should clarify,

Anxy is my nickname for Anxiety. I used to call it Worry, way back when. She started following me around when I was eight. She sort of just appears out of no where, I turn around and there she is, asking me questions.

Nagging; doubting; what about this? What about that? What about this and this and this? insisting she’s right. Meh. Anxy, just give it a rest, will you? Leave me alone.

Angst is just well, angst. Angst shows up when Anxy isn’t being so effective in slowing me down, spinning me ’round.

Angst shows up loudly and suddenly. Fills me with unexpected despair, dread. Angst is pretty big and heavy too, so he just throws me down to the ground and sits on my chest. All that negative washing over me.

I guess the most important lesson I’ve learned from these two “friends”, Anxy & Angst, the feelings they bring to me, they’re not permanent. I just feel them and cope with them until they’re departed. Sure they’ll come back; I might expect them to sometimes, and sometimes no. Either way is fine at this point.

Because one thing I’ve also determined from this lifelong experience is that I am resilient; that I can persevere; that I will persevere.

Good Times.

All GOOD.