It has happened over and over for decades, most all of my life. Sick and sullen, I feel bad,

About resting,

About feeling unable to do what seems obvious and normal and automatic for most everyone else,

About not doing enough, about taking too long,

Sometimes I feel somehow immobilized, stuck in invisible mud, or crazily,

On any invisible roller coaster, and the cars go careening down at breakneck speed, in an instant, my stomach falls out,

It’s usually at this moment that I catch myself, shake myself, insist on a breakthrough, and it often then comes,

Shaken to my senses I feel more secure, validated, empowered,

For nothing fancy, just taking the next step, doing the next right thing,

Why the breakthrough comes in this way I can not say, but it has for as long as I can remember, as long as I can recall,

I’m just glad it does.