Yiyun Li, a writer and teacher, I heard her interviewed recently, it helped me a bit,

You see, she had two sons; one committed suicide in 2017; the other son fell to the same fate seven years later. Li herself had also attempted to take her own life prior.

And so to the point of this piece, he explains that now she face his life with radical acceptance, whatever is, is.

Rather than trying to bargain, reason, understand what is sometimes not explainable… Perhaps the only way that we hold some power in those circumstances is through radical acceptance.

I like that.