The original title on this piece was, “Slow Start: Inertia Quagmire or Soulfully Sound ?” … but it seemed (seems!) way too clunky … so it’s “Slow Start?” instead …

I can’t help but dwell on it.

The state of my mind most mornings, as I come into consciousness and begin the day; it is exhausting.

It’s a slow start that finds me deep in crushing inertia; all at once my mind floods with tasks and problems, and a sense of quagmire; I have so many things to do, resolve, and no courage or desire to engage.

In these moments I definitely need to find a path to a more peaceful understanding and practice; my current experience is not sustainable.

I long for a soulful, healthy morning habit that I can rely on each and every morning.

Woe is me.

I’ve read in many a place the concept and healthiness of a slow start to the day; easing into awake, easing into the routines that make up our days. It sounds so inviting, welcoming. It sounds like the correct approach to better mental health.

But I cannot currently find the proper thoughts to nurture this better way; the mindset for this preferred practice eludes me.

Mind you, I’m not giving up.

It helps me to document the experience; scribbling down the particulars a bit helps me move the process forward. I know the things to do, but I don’t do them; the default wallow catches me, holds me back; I seem sort of revel in it, sort of … the dread familiar,

But all the same I know something … SOMETHING … has to change. I can’t just continue in the wallow (I’ve written about that before as well);

Slow Start? To be continued …