Did a quick search of the word edge in my blog in it’s happened a few times that I’ve used edge in the title.

Most recently it was six years ago, as my second marriage was falling apart, and we were lining up for a two-house family and divorce.

Since then, there’s been a lot as you might imagine, as anyone in life proceeds over six years, lots of things happen, but just now I’m remembering again from that time until today a particular edge in my life that I did not clearly identify I don’t think… Until now.

Here’s the bullet.

I wake up every morning, practically, on edge. It seems to me a psychological peculiarity… Or neurosis. But it is what it is, that’s my life.

The sequence usually goes from waking into consciousness, thinking about all the things currently swirling in present time for my life,

A sense of foreboding, maybe even mild dread,

and then the bottom falls out, but I don’t hit the ground,

And then, and then! Somehow I recover, but I find myself on edge.

Edge is mostly a matter of circumstance; if I’m truly behind — or feel so — all the more am I on edge, can’t sleep well, frenetic thoughts overwhelm, all-consuming,

From the edge.