Insomniac Interlude

Been a year maybe, since this started; since the wheels of divorce started turning,

Middle of the night, dreams wake me, clock stares back at me, words pour out.

In my mind churning, this and that in flux, uncertain, unsettled.

Mine to manage, improve, solve.

What to do, say? Anyway, plenty of time to manage, rectify, sanctify,

Sleep now the preference, how I’ll reference my readiness, ready to go when the sun comes up, to make it good.

Written: 02:18am

Lyrics Post: “Jaded”

Conflict, disagreement, irresponsible governance, selfish, disease, war, rebuked love…all (and more) to be jaded by.

I refuse to accept these as the last word. Circumstance and Evil will not win in the end.

But this song…”Jaded”…from a while back, well,

Green Day ripped through a good one here…

Somebody keep my balance
I think I’m falling off
Into a state of regression
The expiration date
Rapidly coming up
It’s leaving me behind to rank

Always move forward
Going “straight” will get you nowhere
There is no progress
Evolution killed it all
I found my place in nowhere

I’m taking one step sideways
Leading with my crutch
Got a fucked up equilibrium
Count down from 9 to 5
Hooray! We’re gonna die!
Blessed into our extinction

Always move forward
Going “straight” will get you nowhere
There is no progress
Evolution killed it all
I found my place in nowhere

Always move forward
Going “straight” will get you nowhere
There is no progress
Evolution killed it all
I found my place in nowhere, in nowhere, in nowhere”

Writer(s): Billie Joe Armstrong, Michael Ryan Pritchard, Frank Edwin Wright III

“…Nobody’s Bargain…”

“…but hell, a little touch up and a little paint…”

Frankly, this lyric came to mind recently as I as was thinking about myself…middle-aged guy, recently single, a little flabby, frumpy…

It might sound like I’m being critical of myself, but I think it’s more just honest,

Like everyone, I am who I am and where I am in this moment.

And that’s ok.

Striving?

Learning?

Finding joy?

These actions sustain us.

Slog Through

Some days, weeks, longer,

Feels like we’re slogging through.

Keep a little smile on the face, head down to the grindstone, thankful for what we have,

Undertone though?

Slogging through, legs heavy, thick on your mind, in the back,

Slow go.

It’s this very time, each time, to stop the slide,

To pause and give thanks, quiet thanks, silent nod, to something, anything, good;

And that’s enough, can sustain another minute, hour, day,

To reset, breath, refocus, and go forward. GO FORWARD.

Yes you can. Even through the slog, legs heavy, stacks all around you,

Fear not, and you are not alone, and don’t give into panic,

Oh no no, not alone, go forward, that you can, do,

GOOD.

A Little Extra, Love

A little more time, a little extra love, with those we love. Maybe one of the fundamental goals of my life.

When I’m with those I love, I don’t want it to end. It’s the same for all of us, right?

And so when the evening is waning — another waning lesson — I try to soak up every moment, appreciate everything moment,

And if I have the power and the latitude to extend the time I do, damn the downstream effects, I’ll deal with it,

The love is so strong,

Love is so strong.